Cafeteria
This is a treatise on the variants of Student sp. to be found in the Cafeteria.
Talkers
These students have incredible lingual endurance. Articulation, pontification, and exhortation seep out in one magnificent solo strain. Silence is anathema. A relative of this genus is the Talker flirtacianous which couple ceaseless verbal badinage to a wholehearted preoccupation with the opposite sex. The natural counterpart of the Talkers are the Silents, which act in general to balance each other out.
To Go-ers : two types
A) The Shys
There is no two ways about it: this group has decided for once and for all that they've had enough of those desperate "quick -- look for friends -- feeling despondant and uncomfortable while holding my tray" moments. It will be "To Go" until death do us (student and styrofoam) part.
B) The Hermits
Video games or Studies or Something. Whatever it is, it's definitely worth the grim promenade past the more social friends. It is Simeon Stylites reincarnate looking down from his eyrie. A thoughtful stroke of the beard, a blazing wift of righteous ruthlessness, and they're gone.
Solos
It's a book, or those tater-tots, or the empty chair across the table: there's something that holds a dedicated ensemble of students to this lonely post. Solos are a somewhat frequent sighting at breakfast. They may be a phylogenetic relation to the To Go-ers, as there are some common threads of bashfulality, maverickishness, and sleepy drear.
Cliques: two types
A) Small: usually 2-3 people. Everyone at this table has known each other since day 2, hour 7. Efforts to break the ice typically fail: things are kept well below thawing temperature by constant reference to times and places and things and people and animals and situations and grand-step-neighbor-inlaws parties where you were NOT THERE.
B) Big: tables line up and everyone sorta knows everyone. There is an immense flurry of scandalously superficial conversation which everyone is half listening to. About 10/11ths of the way through the meal, someone suddenly starts up a serious conversation. Great, just the time you have to leave.
Intros
These students are the ones who break out of some of the patterns above and have the courage to sit down with someone new. On most occasions, these students follow a fairly predictable line of conversation: name --> studying? --> live? --> Ok, gotta go, see you later! Occasionaly, however, things can get exciting: once I had a conversation with a girl about the relationship between Bolivian potato farmers and Washington Irving -- which incidentally isn't as tenuous a connection as you might suspect.
Weirdfoods
This group has outstanding tolerance for culinary atrocities. The scarecrow creations that appear on their trays are enough to welter the internal orders of the most hardened campaigner. I suspect that they are operating under a secret oath: something about the hegelian dialectic of strawberries and mushrooms.
This is a treatise on the variants of Student sp. to be found in the Cafeteria.
Talkers
These students have incredible lingual endurance. Articulation, pontification, and exhortation seep out in one magnificent solo strain. Silence is anathema. A relative of this genus is the Talker flirtacianous which couple ceaseless verbal badinage to a wholehearted preoccupation with the opposite sex. The natural counterpart of the Talkers are the Silents, which act in general to balance each other out.
To Go-ers : two types
A) The Shys
There is no two ways about it: this group has decided for once and for all that they've had enough of those desperate "quick -- look for friends -- feeling despondant and uncomfortable while holding my tray" moments. It will be "To Go" until death do us (student and styrofoam) part.
B) The Hermits
Video games or Studies or Something. Whatever it is, it's definitely worth the grim promenade past the more social friends. It is Simeon Stylites reincarnate looking down from his eyrie. A thoughtful stroke of the beard, a blazing wift of righteous ruthlessness, and they're gone.
Solos
It's a book, or those tater-tots, or the empty chair across the table: there's something that holds a dedicated ensemble of students to this lonely post. Solos are a somewhat frequent sighting at breakfast. They may be a phylogenetic relation to the To Go-ers, as there are some common threads of bashfulality, maverickishness, and sleepy drear.
Cliques: two types
A) Small: usually 2-3 people. Everyone at this table has known each other since day 2, hour 7. Efforts to break the ice typically fail: things are kept well below thawing temperature by constant reference to times and places and things and people and animals and situations and grand-step-neighbor-inlaws parties where you were NOT THERE.
B) Big: tables line up and everyone sorta knows everyone. There is an immense flurry of scandalously superficial conversation which everyone is half listening to. About 10/11ths of the way through the meal, someone suddenly starts up a serious conversation. Great, just the time you have to leave.
Intros
These students are the ones who break out of some of the patterns above and have the courage to sit down with someone new. On most occasions, these students follow a fairly predictable line of conversation: name --> studying? --> live? --> Ok, gotta go, see you later! Occasionaly, however, things can get exciting: once I had a conversation with a girl about the relationship between Bolivian potato farmers and Washington Irving -- which incidentally isn't as tenuous a connection as you might suspect.
Weirdfoods
This group has outstanding tolerance for culinary atrocities. The scarecrow creations that appear on their trays are enough to welter the internal orders of the most hardened campaigner. I suspect that they are operating under a secret oath: something about the hegelian dialectic of strawberries and mushrooms.
8 comments:
The time has come for someone to break the ice and leave a comment on this extraordinarily written blog.
(Does this put me in the talker or intros category?)
Is there a term for professors that join students for lunch? Or professors that "join students for lunch" but then eat alone?
I have a few friends that I wouldn't have had before if I had not been an Intro.
There are times that I feel it necessary for me to join my friends and be considered part of a big "clique". If I don't eat with my own friends... what kind of friend am I?
Emily,
Ah yes, the professors. I knew I would miss some groups.
At various times, I've been an upstanding member of most of these categories -- perhaps especially the hermit :)
The most amusing observations are in relation to the weirdfoods. And I must confess, if I still ate at the cafe, I would likely claim allegiance to the solos.
Yeah... do you mind expounding on the weirfoods? -emily
Your eye is astute. And insights consistently clever. Hermits are great though. I'm a card-carrying member (according to outside sources).
I agree--fantasico blog! I had lots of fun reading this and picturing the different types :)
Kudos, John. Your elucidation was engaging, your badinage hilarious, and your surveillance veracious. I gotta say...your vocabulary puts me in awe - every time:)
I always enjoy your analysis of different areas of life. The Cafe was a good topic to dissect. But my feelings of enjoyment are often replaced by more nawingly mysterious thoughts. For example: "in what category do I fall?" and "is it a category I wish to claim?".
Thought provoking.
I for one am for more deep and profound mealtime conversations -- preferable not when I am leaving the table.
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