-- Dr. Bronners
-- Bread
-- Peanut Butter
So reads the list that Barry and I have pinned to our board. Handily itemized in Barry's economical handwriting, the blue 3x5 card scribes the nature of our periodic trips to the Village Market.The VM dominates the microcosm of adventist infrastructure which characterizes Collegdale so well: where young and old alike can purchase big franks at 20% off and indulge their passion for deborah miniature.
Barry and I take mutual delight in shopping exclusively by price tag. Once returned, we usually hold a council on the respective merits of bar soap and liquid body soap, and then laud the remarkable acuity of the purchaser who found the next record-low price of bread. Of course, this must be validated by the corroborated evidence of differential unit price, net weight, and or fluid ounces.
One day, on arriving back at the room with my various trophies, I held aloft (to my brothers admiring gaze) a large tube of off-brand toothpaste which I had discovered in a rather inconspicuous spot. Emblazoned with "PEPSODENT" in red, it was an attractive buy, especially in light of it's 2-dollar oustment of Colgate AND crest.
The next morning Barry was the first to savor it's contents, which were greeted with ill-disguised dismay. I was also in for a shocker:pepsodent leaves much to be desired.
Some days later, Barry returned with some of his own smashing bargains. He had obtained two largish bars of all-purpose soap which had fetched a extremely low price. Unfortunately, he had failed to take a precautionary sniff at the store, and the ensuing inspection wrung high-pitched groans from all quarters. On closer inspection, the packaging indicated that it was especially useful for laundry.
I was so intrigued by the vile-smelling greenish bar, that I did a little research online. The official site for the octagon says that the bar is infused with lemongrass. It goes on to say the following:
"In hoodoo magical practices Lemongrass is an herb that is believed to clear away all evil messes and to provide personal protection from magical attacks. Therefore you can wash yourself -- or your clothes --with Octagon Laundry Soap as a form of spiritual work."
Obviously, the hoodoos were bright enough to realize that no spirit would want to cohabit with such a vile-smelling individual.
Despite all this, we daily lather and brush with Octagon and Pepsodent. That savage and smelly enjoyment of thrift we experience is simply too good to relinquish.
13 comments:
Papa Howe always uses Pepsodent toothpaste and I having grown up with the taste rather favor it, but since reading your post realize more fully the reason for his unflagging fidelity to the brand. I think I will put it on my shopping list as well. Of course as I have two tubes which Mother found distasteful, which were edging toward disposal before I intervened, it will be awhile before I can revel in the taste of a bargain. One must resist the temptation to buy a bargain he doesn't need. Remember, "Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without". Dad
I still remember the toothpaste you got in Peru... and your reaction to my discovery that, by buying two tubes at a time, I could get Colgate cheaper than your off-brand stuff.
I thought that was the controversy between Patito and your other off-brand laundry soap! I know the only colgate I remember using was donated from state-side....
this, my duck-tape conserving friend, was a highly appreciated blog.
Village market sibling time is always eventful and treasureful :)
...caitlin and I have agreed. We want to try this highly acclaimed Pepsodent so that we can more fully appreciate your blog.
I had forgotten about Patito... but now that you mention it I distinctly remember that the soap in my pink bag had ten more grams than the soap in your yellow bag... but you can't have forgotten about your Colinose (or however you spell it)... or was that too traumatic a memory since Alex not only saved money but got a toothpaste that didn't excercise his gag reflex either.
On the contrary, Kolynos was absolutely delicious.
We differ on the facts again: your soap was 10 g LESS than patito, but we figured out that the unit price of the soap was slightly less than Patito....
Perhaps I was swindled by the superb buying scam: "Bien lavadito con Patito"....
Who knew you could turn a 3-item grocery list into an amusing retrospective experiance? And by the way, if the 'vile green bar' does smell as badly as you imply, I'm sure the hoodoos aren't the only ones who will diligently avoid cohabitation...
lol as always.
you and barry are going to turn into some conspicuous dudes on campus with your spiritually laundered clothes and pepsodented teeth.
tell us what's next
adri: exactly
julie: glad you enjoyed!
The humor of your blog has left me with absolutely nothing of worth with which to contribute to the string of comments preceding my own.
thanks for giving me a laugh. I'd gladly take a daily dose of both the above mentioned evils if they kept off my tax reading as well as hoodoos and humans.
Ivan and I have been known to wander around the VM for long periods of time, comparing this source of calories with that, quibbling over various qualities and proposing our prospective favorites before scrapping them all in vain hopes of finding something of greater value for a lesser price. I always check the sale basket on the third aisle from the right, wherein one can usually find such goodies as stale sweet potato crisps, off-brand rice powder, and other such essential (and discounted!) commodities. :)
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