
-- Dr. Bronners
-- Bread
-- Peanut Butter
So reads the list that Barry and I have pinned to our board. Handily itemized in Barry's economical handwriting, the blue 3x5 card scribes the nature of our periodic trips to the Village Market.The VM dominates the microcosm of adventist infrastructure which characterizes Collegdale so well: where young and old alike can purchase big franks at 20% off and indulge their passion for deborah miniature.
Barry and I take mutual delight in shopping exclusively by price tag. Once returned, we usually hold a council on the respective merits of bar soap and liquid body soap, and then laud the remarkable acuity of the purchaser who found the next record-low price of bread. Of course, this must be validated by the corroborated evidence of differential unit price, net weight, and or fluid ounces.
One day, on arriving back at the room with my various trophies, I held aloft (to my brothers admiring gaze) a large tube of off-brand toothpaste which I had discovered in a rather inconspicuous spot. Emblazoned with "PEPSODENT" in red, it was an attractive buy, especially in light of it's 2-dollar oustment of Colgate AND crest.
The next morning Barry was the first to savor it's contents, which were greeted with ill-disguised dismay. I was also in for a shocker:pepsodent leaves much to be desired.
Some days later, Barry returned with some of his own smashing bargains. He had obtained two largish bars of all-purpose soap which had fetched a extremely low price. Unfortunately, he had failed to take a precautionary sniff at the store, and the ensuing inspection wrung high-pitched groans from all quarters. On closer inspection, the packaging indicated that it was especially useful for laundry.
I was so intrigued by the vile-smelling greenish bar, that I did a little research online. The official site for the octagon says that the bar is infused with lemongrass. It goes on to say the following:
"In hoodoo magical practices Lemongrass is an herb that is believed to clear away all evil messes and to provide personal protection from magical attacks. Therefore you can wash yourself -- or your clothes --with Octagon Laundry Soap as a form of spiritual work."
Obviously, the hoodoos were bright enough to realize that no spirit would want to cohabit with such a vile-smelling individual.
Despite all this, we daily lather and brush with Octagon and Pepsodent. That savage and smelly enjoyment of thrift we experience is simply too good to relinquish.
