SAU 1637

Excerpts from the discovered journal of a student on this campus: A.D. 1637

Anatomy Class: First day
The teacher is a wild-haired, disheveled individual with a keen craze for cutting into things. He wears a full suit of homespun fullcloth and shrouds himself in a durable black apron -- he wears a cracked monocle. "Ladies and Gents" quoth he, "today let it be known among ye, that in this barrel of Frankus magnum [ here a cunning smile ] I have hid aught which did give up the ghost in the yesteryear. It hath been preserved in the juice of the asean lime and tartearic humor...."
My classmate shivers, and wraps himself more tightly in the folds of his voluminous robe.

The Cafeteria: Pasta day
The astounding Madame Lindacicus knows all of us by name! Albeit, I had to correct her when she tried to remember my name: She said "Wintrefort Alberthain Heresifont II of Aberlathe" when she should have said "Wintrefort Alberthain Heresifont II of Entermoot" ... Alas, but she tryeth. The damsel behind the counter addressed me with the usual abrupt query: "Would'st thou prefer to dine in this large open assembly or in the privacy of thine own quarters?" They don't mince words here, do they? When I replied " Verily, I would prefer to dine in this large open assemblage because my room rotteth wet from chill and dampness" -- she showed her teeth! What a ghastly response to my little joke.

Dinnertime edification:
I selected the boiled wheat strips, the green spriggots, and the new Allium sativum bread for my dining pleasure, and for the general reinforcement of my corpus. Sat at a table with a gaggle of nursing students (females all). They were pontificating about the usual: "Well this day in practicum, I got to sear my first patient with the red-hot iron" ... and "My nursing supervisor said that raw potatoes and whiskey are the best remedy for an upset stomach" and "all the drugs / potions they're using nowadays... I wish they'd go back to natural remedies: blackened wood, juice of lemon, pumsquatch jelly, horseraddish hyssop beer..." Must be the good, conservative type.

Taskus oddendums:
I traversed the field between Talge Hall of Accomodation for Males and the University Feed warehouse. While there, I procured a crate of surfactant cleaning compound, and a barrel of Topus ramenus, which recently arrived on a ship from Java. Payed in full with 2 chunks of silver. When I exited the premises, there was a large scrum occuring across the field by Thatcher Hall of Accomodation for Females. I left my crate and barrel in the possesion of the storemaster, and, gathering up my robe, sprinted to the site. The occasion of this unruly behavior appears to have been a female (should have known). Two young squires had fallen into a disagreement over which one was more favored by said specimen, and things had come to blows. They were at it hammer and tongs before the proprietary protectorate representative of safety on this fair campus arrived, and separated them in due time with diligent and creative use of a large rock. . . . .