Barry and I are now in possesion of a blender, a gadget which at $14.99 offers a bewildering array of whizbang procedures. Besides performing it's obligatory blending function, it claims to obediently chop, mix, grate, and liquefy on command.
When making it's debut performance, this machine proceeded to shriek at me in a most ghastly manner. I turned it off, and then began to reason with it.
Me: Why are you shrieking at me?
Gadget: I'm not. I'm singing.
Me: well, please stop.
Gadget: No problem
Me: Carry on then!
Gadget: Righto....... AAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHH(BDUNKBDUNK)AAAAA
Me: STOP!
Gadget: No problem
Me: Is this your modus operandi?
Gadget: Yes.
Me: Hmmmm, I don't like your voice.
Gadget: What? I am the pinnacle of utilitarian melody! My tunes are the essence of
efficiency!
Me: No doubt. well, I will plug my ears, and you will carry on.
Gadget: No problem. AAAAAAAAAAIIGGG(BDUNKBDUNK)AAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIAAGGRURGLE
This time my resolution held, and I endured 3 or 4 minutes of this hellish recital. It did it's part though, and I think the result was rather nice.
mmmmmmm,, very nice indeed.
dried pineapple + raspberries = pure delight (otherwise known as raspberry jam)
6 comments:
lol John.
Sounds like you need a more mellifluous appliance. Perhaps minor surgery and the addition of strategically placed apparatuses will produce more Handelian melismas.
Enjoy your new blender!
Mom and I just made 6 qts of raisin jam and 6 qts of raspberry pineapple jam for a health fair. 500 people later we still have a few qts of each, wish you were here to enjoy it with us. Our blender however was never so entertaining as yours.
:D What fun
I'm envious of your fantastic, noisy blender! Several recipes require one, but, alas...
I have other handy tools though.
How I wish I could see you cautiously handling your new kitchen weapon! Keep us updated on your creations
I have a blender in my cupboard, I should see what kind of tunes it yodels out. Maybe we should put them together and see if they can sing a duet! :)
now that I have sampled the cuisine produced by your recently acquired appliance, I can attest to the excellence thereof. A fine investment indeed!
(By the way, I have earplugs you could use for future concoctions, if you wish :)
Post a Comment